THRESHOLDS

I write this post on the day of my twin boys seventh birthday.

Until I became a mother, I didn’t have any appreciation of the depth of feeling a mother experiences every time one of her children turns a year older on the anniversary of their birth.

In my case this happens for both of my children on the same day. And over the last two days I have been reflecting upon this particular threshold. I am crossing over a big emotional bridge as I enter into my seventh year of motherhood.

This is also a time I have chosen to bring a new version of myself into being. It feels fresh and new and a bit wobbly. But here she is…my new website.

My entry into motherhood proper was a bit ‘heavy’, as it is for many women. I was also the size of a small bungalow to boot. With hindsight I was very scared of going into hospital and I definitely put a brave face on.

What I needed was space and beauty around me. A space in which I could enter into an unknown state of being and still feel safe. Instead, I was in hospital.

So, with the remembering of that time comes a rawness, and of course there is also a tenderness for the memory of my beautiful baby boys.

But today I realise that I could extend some of that tenderness towards that mama in the hospital room trying to hold it all together. So I will mother myself today and be a gentle guide for myself as I transition into another year of motherhood.

I would invite you to do the same. Be gentle with yourself. Be gentle with your memories. You are Amazonian and fragile all in the same breath as a woman. All of that needs gentle attention and compassion.

Go well lovely ones and be gentle today and every day.

Much love,

Rachel xx